Canadian Surrogacy: Should I go Agency or Independent?
Photograph by Cas Evans Photography
By Linsay Ambeault
It’s been an amazing journey so far – and such a diverse one. I’ve done four surrogacy journeys; two with an agency, and two independently, or ‘indy’ as they say in the industry. As a surrogate, I’ve had the opportunity to work with intended parents who were gay, straight, male, female, and from multiple ethnic backgrounds. When I first came to surrogacy, navigating this world seemed so intimidating. There are so many options...’do I use an agency, or do I try to go it alone?’ I’m hopeful that sharing my experience with both will help give some insight.
I first came to surrogacy in 2013, after seeing an ad from one of the major agencies in Canada. My experience with them felt impersonal and I felt lost in the world of surrogacy. There were many unfamiliar medical terms, strange acronyms, and flights depositing me in downtown Toronto from my small Ontario city of only 70,000. These aspects were overwhelming, but despite it all, the experience turned out to be the most exciting and rewarding adventure I’d ever been on. And because of that, I am grateful to that agency.
I wanted to keep going, so when the agency asked me if I’d do another journey, I jumped at the chance. My second journey resulted in two incredible men becoming fathers to a beautiful boy. After one child, they weren’t done and neither was I, but we’d both seen up close the shortcomings of working with this large agency. Our experience had not been a good one, rather than supporting and encouraging us it seemed as though they wanted to control our journey. Also, the amount of money it cost my intended parents, to have this unnecessary middleman involved, did not seem worth it.
We realized we had the knowledge to streamline the process for ourselves and decided to do our sibling journey independently. I learned all I could about surrogacy and dove into the surrogacy community. I searched online forums for old posts, talked to surrogates, to intended parents, to medical professionals, and looked for the easiest ways to do things. In the end, all the knowledge I’d gained paid off. Our sibling journey was easy and peaceful, and it honestly brought us closer. As a result, I’m a much more confident and knowledgeable surrogate, and I’ve since had the pleasure of helping countless others navigate their own journey’s independently.
Soon after, I contemplated doing another journey. My previous intended fathers encouraged me to try going indy again. I had loved our experience but I had my doubts. Doing an indy sibling journey was one thing, but finding a match on my own seemed like more than I could manage. My bond with my previous intended fathers was so strong that finding someone new, whom I would love as much as them, seemed impossible.
I was, of course, wrong about that. I am currently working with my first indy match, a wonderful couple that I met on a Facebook group. So far everything has gone seamlessly, and I’ve grown to love them like family. However, I did find we still needed support, and for that I turned to Jennifer Allen. Jennifer and I had done journeys with the same agency and knew each other casually. I turned to her for support after seeing a post about the reproductive endocrinologist she’d used, as we were considering switching to his clinic. As is her usual style, Jennifer went above and beyond to facilitate a consult.
Though I’ve found that going indy was a better fit for me, compared to working with a large agency, it does have its shortcomings. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been incredibly lucky with my indy journeys. My intended parents have all lived in Canada, they’ve all been financially prepared and knew what to expect, and they’ve all trusted me as much as I trust them. They already had embryos and were familiar with their clinics, but despite everything being in place, there were still occasions when things didn’t go as we’d planned. I needed someone who could step in and act as a liaison and that’s when having Jennifer in my corner really paid off.
I’ve witnessed my share of journeys that have gone badly, even when all parties have done their research. Fortunately, six years in the surrogacy world has allowed me to meet some amazing people and build an incredible support system.
After completing two agency journeys, and two indy, I was pleasantly surprised to discover a happy medium within the world of surrogacy, and that is JA Surrogacy Consulting. I’m lucky to have this village around me, and to now also have the opportunity to work as part of the JA team, supporting other women on their journeys. Jennifer, who is a surrogate first and an agency owner second, has been a constant support in making sure my intended parents and I are heard by our clinic and that we’re made a priority. This is a community with the opportunity to make a difference and inspire change within the world of surrogacy.
Linsay is a Surrogacy Support Worker and Accounts Manager at JA Surrogacy Consulting. She has completed three surrogate journey’s and is currently on her fourth. Her time as a surrogate has made her incredibly knowledgeable about the process and an important member of the surrogacy community here in Canada. To learn more about Linsay, please visit the Our Team page on our website.